It's hard to smile but I love a challenge.

Dear ____,

This is something I have been putting off for a long time. Something I should have said more often even when things hadn't changed. I am sad about what happened. You were my sister. I should have accepted our odd friendship because sisters aren't always nice and they don't always do the right thing. You didn't treat me how I deserved but I let that fact get in the way of everything. I still remember that one time when we snuck out and you thought you lost your phone and you slipped and fell on the ice. You threw the toilet paper down and started crying and cussing. I tried to reassure you but it was so funny and it took everything in me to not laugh louder. And I remember when we were really little and we used to sit outside in those lounge chairs in the summer and play truth or dare with everyone. Remember all those sleepovers where we'd laugh at the dumb people on the internet? And remember when I told you that I pretty much loved you? Then there was the time with the ramen noodles and your mom was on her way. It's kind of blurry. It wasn't even that long ago. The begining was. Fourth grade. Now that is a long time. I can be a jealous person when someone really matters. No one mattered like you. You started to become someone I didn't even know. And all those friends. They weren't like you. You wanted a different start and you became one of them. To all the secrets we told and to all the ones we didn't. To every apologetic hour and every step away from your house taken with pride. I'm sorry. Because of what you were to me, because you meant so much, I will miss you. I will always love you. Maybe we can't go back but the past always stays with us. Don't ever forget. Even the bad parts. Remember those so you can remember how good everything else was.

Always,
Em