Monday, March 31, 2008

The truth no one will ever read. Or care about.

Wanna know my biggest secret? I was planning something great for it but what's the point? I'll die before I get the point. So, here it goes.
My biggest fear is that when I am on that overpass watching the ground fall beneath me more and more, and I do finally decide to stop fighting and let my wheel drift just a little bit more the the right and over is what I'll think on the way down. That I won't think of everything that made me want to do it but the things that held me back for so long. I'll see beautiful things and see happy memories. The best part of my life flashing before my eyes in those three seconds. Not just that but I'm afraid I'll see what hasn't come and what now won't. The eyes of the man I would never get to love. The first steps of the son I would never have. The life I would never get to live. And after all that, in the millisecond before the sounds and crashing and breaking of the car, I would realize something. I would realize I changed my mind.

1 comment:

Teresa @ good-grace said...

Good Lord... this is so poignant. Dark, but hopeful.