I like this letter thing. I'm going to do it again. This one is to me. From my head to my heart. Or one personality to the other. I'm not quite sure, but I am still saying to myself.


Dear Emily,

You are acting too pathetic for words. You are ruining your life. You almost didn't pass you favorite subject with a teacher who was incredible. You are screwing around with people you shouldn't be all because of a boy. Just a boy. A boy who didn't even love you. Not like he loves her. You tried so hard to get him back and fought with so much and guess what? He still didn't care. He doesn't care. You lied to your friends yet you told your secrets to someone who barely knows you. Your life sucks because you deserve it. Your brother is gone. Seems fair considering you haven't spoken to him in years despite the fact you were always around him. You seem upset because he has never said he loved you but you can't honestly think you deserve love. Your parents hate the way you sing, even though you love it. You got in the way of their dreams. No one loves you and that may not be your fault entirely. You gave plenty of love and you got screwed over. Sucks. So why are messing up someone else's love for another? Even I don't get you. You are mean and heartless and sad. Sometimes, you can be amazing. So nice to your friends and such. I wish you could be happy. I wish you could get away from all these people who were supposed to be there. Don't give up, though. I know you've tried to and I know you are in a lot of pain but maybe faith is just the thing you need. You can't keep being ice woman. You haven't gotten what I know you should have and that isn't fair. I mean, I know. I'm you. Someday, you'll find that amazing, Irish, soccer playing, lyric writing, charming, handsom, green-eyed man that will make up for every person who left you behind or gave up on you or who never loved you. You are smart and funny and nice. Don't ever forget that. And let go of him. He's not coming back. It's time to stop the sleepless nights and sad days. You have to move on. He found someone else that he loves so much more and you should let him be happy even if it means you are out of the picture. Let him go so you can get on with your own life. You should get to be happy, too. If it counts, I love you. Not a lot of people can say they love who they are. Then again, not a lot of people are like you.

Love,
Your smarter self.


Sometimes, all you will ever need is a slap in the face. Even if no one is there to do it but yourself. I think I'll keep this letter thing going.